On 06/18/2011 10:47 PM, Cody Jackson wrote:
> On 6/18/11, Manuel Wolfshant<email@example.com> wrote:
>> I've created the first version of the ReleaseNotes page for CentOS
>> 6.0 in the wiki. As usual, corrections / additions / translations are
> I just glanced at this after breakfast,
> and I spotted a few
> grammatical errors you might wish to change:
> Section 2:
> "upstream vendors redistribution policy" should probably be "upstream
> vendor's redistribution policy." (In fact, I notice this is on the 5.6
> release notes page as well.)
fixed in both places
> Section 6.3:
> "Even as an inexperienced CentOS user we can use your help" sounds a
> bit like the release team is comprised of inexperienced CentOS users.
> It is, of course, not! Perhaps something like "Even as an
> inexperienced CentOS user, you can help the CentOS project!" would
> work better?
uhm. I'll leave that to people with more English knowledge than me. It
looks fine from where I stand.
> This line made me pause as well:
> "Because we like to know what problems you encountered, if you had
> problems finding specific information, how you would improve
> documentation so it becomes more accessible."
> At the least, it should have a question mark at the end,
uhmm.. no. It's a enumeration of things we'd like to be informed of, not
a question. it's not "Would we like to know ... ?" but "we like to know
a b and c". there is a difference between: "We like to know. What
problems ..? How would you?" and "we like to know [...] how would you"
> although it
> is an awkward question. How does one improve documentation? The
> average user probably will not know. It might be better to include
> some specific advice here: get in touch with the dev team, contribute
> your own documentation, etc.
it's described exactly one paragraph below
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